If you are living with an emotionally and psychologically abusive person and are considering the relationship and moving, there are some important issues to consider. First, if you are at ANY risk of the situation becoming physically violent, consult with a counselor or other trained domestic violence professional before attempting to leave the abuser. The highest risk of homicides and attempted homicides of women in abusive relationships occurs when the victim leaves, and sometimes without warning.
If you feel physically safe but not so sure about other repercussions, be sure to do some groundwork ahead of time. Here are 5 tips to get ready to move.
1. Make sure your finances are in order. Make copies or obtain originals of all financial and related documents such as tax returns, W-2 forms, insurance policies, bank statements, investment statements, loan information, car titles, marriage licenses, property appraisals, current paycheck stubs and the like. Open your own bank account and get your own credit card. Have an emergency stash of cash in your account.
2. Collect passports and social security cards for yourself and your children from the household. Also, remove any valuable or sentimental items and entrust them to a close friend or family member for safekeeping. Have the mindset that whatever you leave around the house, you may not get back.
3. Confide in a few trusted friends or family members who know about your plan and can support you through it.
4. Change all passwords for email accounts, bank accounts, etc. Don’t give your partner a key to your new home, and if your partner has a copy of your car key, consider changing the locks on your car doors.
5. Make sure you have your legal bases covered. Consult an attorney. You don’t want to make a move that could hurt your position in terms of your property claim or custody issues later on.