“There are two lasting legacies we can leave our children. One is roots. The other is wings.” ~ Hodding Carter Jr.
It is perfectly normal for young children to be afraid. Abnormal fears are those where you can’t get your toddler to focus on something else because he is consumed with fear of her. Obviously, a fear like this needs to be approached differently. But today we are addressing the fears that are normal for young children and how to help relieve young children’s anxiety and help them face and overcome their fears through gentle, loving, and heroic parenting.
The most common fears of young children are strangers, someone approaching, the dark, loud noises and crowded places. Sitting on the potty is also a common fear of young children, as well as going to the doctor or the doctor himself, nurses, and the first day of school. These are the most common, but they are by no means the only ones.
The fears of young children are fears, however
What may seem silly to you as an adult may not be silly to your young child. They are afraid of the dark because they cannot understand that the light will make them go away. They may be afraid of strangers because they don’t know them at all. They may be afraid of places because they can’t understand the variety and differences in sounds and structures, and they can’t understand how things are made and built. They feel overwhelmed and insecure, which triggers their fear.
Young children’s fears need to be managed constructively and taken seriously. You shouldn’t laugh or make fun of their fears, nor should you dismiss them and sweep them under the rug thinking they’ll get over them. It’s how they overcome them and the degree of support they receive that counts, which will have a big influence on how long it takes your young child to overcome their fear and the emotional impact it will have on them.
Observe and play pretend
Parents are aware of the importance that a child’s imagination plays in their growth and childhood. Fueling their imagination by encouraging pretend play is high on the priority list. However, with a growing imagination, new fears, insecurities and worries can arise for a young child.
Often a child will show their fears through their toys during pretend play. Parents can watch their children when they play; do not disturb them in their imaginative world, but watch and listen from a distance. If you see your son expressing her fears, watch him and try to get an idea of where the fear might be coming from. Talk to your child about it and offer a loving hand through understanding and advice. Another suggestion is to play pretend games together with your child and destroy her fear. This is where mom and dad can use their imaginations to find a way for their toys to destroy their fear in the air.
Fears of bad experiences
Young children will soon learn one way or another that there are falls, scrapes, trips, and embarrassing moments in their lives. Riding a bike and falling off can make them afraid of getting hurt and they don’t want to get back on the bike. Or, they try to ice skate and fall off, vowing never to ice skate again. It’s fears like this that can keep your child from enjoying some of the wonderful things in life for him.
It is your duty as a loving parent to help your little boy face his fears and get back on the pony. This is something adults have to do many times in their lives, and learning from a young age, with support and understanding, will foster a more resilient child as an adult. Be your toddler’s hero and show him how to face his fears and that trying again has its own rewards.
- Help your child feel more confident in new situations.
- Take their fears seriously, offer support and reassurance for each episode of fear.
- Always be upbeat and positive when dealing with your toddler’s fears. You have to be solid, strong and confident, but show that you are taking their fear seriously.
- Take the bad memories and turn them into good ones. Remind his son of how much fun he had when he rode his bike and how great the pictures of his first bike ride are. Don’t pressure him, just remind him of the fun stuff.
- Be honest. If something is going to hurt, don’t say no. Reassure your child that it will only last a second and give him something to look forward to after his ordeal.
- Avoid being overprotective.
- Don’t overreact. Avoid overreacting to small falls, spills, trips, and childhood disasters. Overreacting will cause an even more vivid memory for your toddler and will also scare them, which only adds to the trauma. If he sees you great, it helps him realize that he’s no big deal.
- Be aware of your child’s temperament to gauge his fears and how best to help him.
- Be patient. Over time, the child will move forward and find strength in you, if she has supported him, to take bolder steps.
- When you discuss your child’s fears with another person, make sure your child cannot hear your conversation.
Fears at bedtime
It is natural for young children not to want to go to bed. After all, you have to say goodbye to the things in your life that make you feel safe and secure at bedtime, including your toys and mom and dad.
- Pick a relaxing bedtime routine to do every night. Doing this will also help your child learn to sleep independently, cutting down on bedtime tantrums and waking up mom and dad in the middle of the night to help them get back to sleep. Help to sleep the baby
- For a 1-year-old who wakes up in the middle of the night looking for comfort, it’s good to go to your child’s bedside and soothe him if necessary. Try not to get your child out of bed and refrain from bringing him into her bed, so as not to develop bad habits towards bedtime problems in the near future.
- Helping your child stay in bed at night will help him face his fears of the dark and build confidence when he realizes that there is nothing to fear and that night will soon turn to day.
- Resist disturbing your child if you hear him playing in bed or talking to himself or his toys (by venturing into pretend play). This is his way of dealing with her fears and helping her go back to sleep.
- The use of pretend play and role play can help with bedtime fears and fears of the dark as well, and are very effective in calming your child when mom or dad is involved.
- Watch for fears that could be phobias and will require professional attention. Phobias will disrupt your child’s development and regular activities, and they will not respond to repeated attempts to reassure them. The earlier you diagnose a phobia, the sooner treatment can affect and help your child.
If mom and dad support, understand, sympathize, and work together with your toddler when his fears arise, your child will be sure to get safety and help when he needs it, and this will help him take the first step to face and then conquer. your child fears