Despite the idea that one day they will have a child of their own and that the two of them will adore each other, there is the reality of applying for adoption. There is, for lack of a better way to put it, the grunge work that accompanies the dream. There are forms to fill out, fees to pay, visits to coordinate with the doctor’s office and police department, and a million documents to collect, copy, and organize. (Where did you put that marriage certificate back?)
Although everyone knows that there is a price to pay for every dream, the truth is that the task can be quite overwhelming. As an adoption advisor, I’d like to share some suggestions for little things you can do to make things easier for yourself and those with whom you will be working.
- Make a “Family Documents” File – This file should contain a copy of every birth certificate, marriage certificate, and any other legal document you can think of … you most likely need it! Passports, driver’s licenses, insurance cards, bank statements (usually from the last 3 months), current income tax, veterinary vaccination records, health records, etc. The more you can think about adding, the less you will look for the information later when your caseworker asks for it. You may need some other things, but it won’t take you that long to find them.
- Plan for a “copy day” or two – Whether you’re working on a domestic or international adoption, you’ll need more than one copy of just about everything, so save yourself some stress and take the entire file to a copy shop and get it all done. at a time one day. Or mark your calendar about 2 weeks apart and plan to do it in two days so you can see what you missed the first time.
- Make a “Papers to Go” file – This file will contain a copy of everything that you actually give your caseworker to complete your home study. Have three copies (Remember those copy days on the calendar?) To take to pick up your child. One for the placement agency if you are not using the same one your home study is doing. A copy to keep with you at all times in case someone asks you for something you’ve lost (and you can’t drive home to find it). And a copy for ICPC if you are doing a national adoption. ICPC stands for Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children and they are the ones who give you approval to leave the state with your child. Add some photos of your home and family, and the room the child will sleep in (even if the clouds haven’t been painted on the ceiling yet). They might want these photos too, as they sometimes do here in Georgia. Take this file with you when you travel – it’s your life!
- Take stock of all your dates – make a note of EACH document and the date it was completed. All documents (other than birth certificates, marriage certificates, etc.) must be updated every year. If you are collecting documents at different times during the home study process, it is highly unlikely that all of your dates are due at the same time. This means that if the lab tests were done on June 25, 2011 and your dog was given rabies vaccines on July 1, 2011, you will need to take the lab tests again on June 25, 2012 and the Get your dog vaccinated on July 1, 2012 even if your home study doesn’t expire until July 15, 2012. If you are trying to adopt a child and you get approval from the ICPC to take it home between those two dates, chances are you will be denied, so watch your dates carefully! Your home study agency will not always be aware of each of these dates when the time is right (can you imagine remembering each one for even 30 clients?) And it is your responsibility to follow up.
- Plan a few days off – You will be doing yourself a big favor if you can plan a few days to run the errands you will have to run to get your paperwork in order before the adoption. You’ll need to visit the doctor for a check-up, the lab for tests, the police department for fingerprints, the courthouse if you need a duplicate certificate, and you may need to find a notary or visit a government office before you’re done. Oh, and don’t forget your copy days! If your days are planned and you can arrange to do as many of these during those days, you won’t feel like you’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off (as my mother used to say), in danger of losing your job due to absences or go bankrupt by filling up the gas tank.
- Make a To-Do List – This is a to-do list for when you’ve finished running errands and are feeling crazy and just plain crazy about waiting. Sometimes waiting for adoption arrangements to take place can be the hardest part. You want to have some ideas to work on while you wait … to avoid dialing the agency every ten minutes for an update. Think scrapbooks, journals, blogs, photos, and baby furniture shopping.
The good news …
Although nothing you prepare early can assure you that you will have everything under control as needed (get used to it … you’re bringing home the perfect example of life surprises!) This list will be a good start. Good luck with your paper hunt and I’ll see you at the store on copy day!