Now that you are divorced, you may have developed an allergy to your married name. However, before you rush to the deed or passport office to ditch your old stained self and restore your maiden name: think again.
It’s more complicated than you can EVER imagine …
The problem with your new name is: It’s new.
Nobody knows you.
And when I mean no one, I mean the world (credit bureaus, banks, moneylenders, airports, driver’s license authorities, health services and passport services, etc.) does not know that YOU exist under this new name.
I was about to trudge to the passport office on a Tuesday and had even stated on my entire Facebook network that I was changing my name until the passport clerk asked me if I have flights booked under my married name in the future. Damn. Turns out I did. When I called the airline, it turned out that my tickets could not be exchanged or refunded. The clerk asked me if I had a mortgage in the name of a married woman. Damn. I sat in the corner groaning as I casually inquired with my mortgage lender. Apparently honoring my mortgage with my shiny new name would incur a £ 2450 charge for the privilege. Changing my mortgage would not only incur an administrative fee, but it would affect my interest rate, since apparently some actuary calculated that getting divorced was riskier than married. I would love to meet this individual and give him a piece of my mind. LOL.
After 6 hours at the passport office, several tears, and a hefty cell phone bill later, passport receptionist Lolly Taylor came up to me. He was going to take a break and said “Come with me Ms. Muzik, let’s have a coffee.”
Mrs. Muzik. Is he really expected to have this name forever? I WANT TO BE BORN AGAIN.
She explained that she saw this problem all the time and that women just weren’t told how difficult it was to change the name. He said there were even people returning trying to reverse what they had done because the costs incurred to change their names were unknown. She saw it as her personal duty to inform all of these women before they pushed to BE BORN AGAIN under their new identities.
She gave me some questions and considerations that I will share with you:
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Do your children keep their married name and how will you feel if they have a different name from yours?
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How long have you worked in a particular place with everyone knowing you by your married name?
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Is your professional reputation based on your married name?
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Do your recruiting agents know you by your married name?
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How will you feel explaining to your colleagues and clients that they should now refer to you by your maiden name? Are you ready to have THAT conversation?
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Social networking sites – are you on them? Can you easily change your name or do you need to re-invite everyone?
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Do you want two identities? One for work and one for staff?
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Do you have a flight booked in the future under your married name? If you change your passport without changing your flight reservation, it may affect your ability to leave the country on that date.
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When you change your passport, you will not be able to leave the country for a while while the change is being made (unless you pay the premium for the speed service)
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Is your mortgage in the married name? If you change it, is there an administrative fee associated with it?
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If you change your name, will the mortgage company that you are divorced take over and therefore penalize you with an increase in interest rate?
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The Costs: There are costs associated with changing your passport, driver’s license, your car registration details, and all the property you owe. You may need to get new passport photos, take days off from work to queue to get things done. Has the price of that gone up?
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Insurance – All of your no-claims bonuses are stored under your married name. Can you transfer those details?
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You will have to systematically review all your mail and write a letter to change your name with all the companies you know.
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You have to start in the right place (passport, so other name changes are easier)
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Be careful where you use your maiden name – one day they might ask for an ID and then you don’t have it!
The point is, you can’t do it halfway, as this can cause problems. If your passport is in your maiden name but your driver’s license is not, it may cause you problems in the future. Once you choose to change your name, you must change it everywhere.
Telling the world that you are born again is a palava, so let me help you in a little way with some memory exercises. Here are some things to think about:
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Driver’s license
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Vehicle permit and vehicle registration documents.
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Health card
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Passport (s)
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Citizenship card
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National insurance and tax records
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Bank account (s) provided “documentary proof” of a name change is provided
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Credit card (s) provided “documentary proof” of a name change is provided
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Invoices and anything with your address (check ALL your mail)
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All your information and login details on the Internet. Keep a record of these changes in a password file.
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Social media accounts (Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.)
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Notify your friends, family and colleagues by email or letter
NOTE: Documents such as birth, marriage, and education certificates cannot be changed because these documents are “true facts,” meaning they were correct at the time they were issued.
Change your name
Choose your new name carefully. Practice signing with him. Have some people close to you call you by that name and see how you like it. You can change your first name, middle name, last name, or all of the above. Just make sure your new name does not imply “fraudulent intent” or is not in the public interest by:
Contact the appropriate local government office to determine the rules and paperwork you will need to officially change your name. Get the forms to fill out, which generally include:
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a petition (sometimes called a ‘writing survey’) for a name change in the UK
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an order granting name change
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a legal endorsement form
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a notice of petition to the public
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an affidavit of consent (if applicable)
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an affidavit of notification or notification to the authorities (only if you are a foreigner, an ex-convict or a lawyer)
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Have the forms notarized or signed by the court clerk.
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Make copies for your own records.
Send your documentation to the corresponding office.
Wait for approval. If your name change is not approved right away, you may need to go to court and defend your reasons.
Put an ad in the newspaper announcing your name change. This gives the public the opportunity to object to your name change if, for example, you have a debt with your current name. Some states allow you to simply post in a public place, such as a designated notice board in court.
Complete the affidavit and return it to the court clerk.
Wait for your order granting name change, which will be your new identification
Take this with you to the Department of Motor Vehicles, the Social Security Administration, and the Office of Vital Records or Statistics in the state you were born in so you can get a new driver’s license, social security card, and birth certificate, respectively . You will need to go to the Social Security office before going to the DMV. If your SSN does not match your new name when you apply for a new driver’s license, it will not be issued.
After two cups of coffee with Lavern and copious notes later, we determined that the maiden name is worth being born again; HOWEVER, you have to surrender to the process. It’s about time and patience. It’s a journey, not an overnight success story.
Good luck!