After flirting with retirement for years, Brett Favre apparently means it this time. The Green Bay Packers quarterback announced his retirement from professional football last week. He will leave behind a legacy of a strong arm, a strong heart and a passion for soccer. But perhaps what he will remember most will be his decision to play soccer the day after his father died in a car accident. On December 20, 2003, his father Irv suffered a heart attack and drove his car into a ditch in the town of Klin, Mississippi. Brett immediately flew off to be with the family, but there was nothing he could do. Brett flew back the next morning to be with his team and decided to play that same day. He talked to his team and told them, “Don’t play this game for me.” And he went out on the field and played perhaps the best game of his career. Favre passed for 399 yards and four touchdowns in Green Bay’s 41-7 win over the Oakland Raiders.
Some may wonder: how was he able to play soccer the day after his father’s death? Isn’t that disrespectful? Shouldn’t he have stayed home with his family in Mississippi? And if he decided to be with his team, shouldn’t he have stayed out of that game and let someone else play in his place? And how could she concentrate on a soccer game alone the day after his father’s death? Wouldn’t he lose his concentration, leading to babbling and indecision? And his companions, what did they think and feel that day? Could they trust that his ability would still be there, knowing what he must have been feeling?
He decided to play that day, and what a game it was! What happened that afternoon was a group effort, started by Brett and joined by all of his teammates.
Grievance lessons for us? First, we must respect all forms of grievance and grief, and not reject someone’s forms because we may think they are inappropriate. Second, we must attend to the mourners, we must surround them with our presence and our compassion and our love, because that is what they really need. And when we do, we’ll be rewarded when we need comfort and hugs ourselves. Today we will give; in our own future time of need, we will receive from others.